How Is Your Heart?
How many times have you been asked, “How are you?”, and you have answered with “fine”, “good”, or some other one word answer that is nearly instinctual? Deep down, you know you aren’t fine, but you wouldn’t dare tell someone else, or worst, you refuse to truly admit it to yourself.
Well, let’s not do that here. This is a safe space and we do not willingly welcome dishonesty or avoidance.
So, let’s try this again:
HOW IS YOUR HEART?
Okay, maybe this will help. I have provided therapy services for 12 years now (whoa, I’m an OG now?), and one of the most common things that I’ve noticed from clients of all ages and walks of life is that people simply have trouble identifying what they feel, therefore it is even more difficult to express, cope, and regulate their emotions.
Let me just say this before we go any further:
Firstly, ALL of your feelings are valid. You feel whatever you feel. Let no one invalidate them, not even you!
Secondly, your feelings serve a purpose, so be mindful of them.
Thirdly, FEEL them, process them, and decide what to do with them.
All of your feelings are valid. You feel whatever you feel. Let no one invalidate them, not even you!
I created an emotional mindfulness model to help my clients (and now you), and while it appears to be simple, it is a game changer! Here are the steps of “Dr.E’s Emotional Mindfulness Model” (What? You do not need my permission, everything that I give you is yours to keep! It’s free. Save, book mark, screenshot, do whatever you want):
1. Identify the emotion.- Use a feelings wheel if needed.
2. Detect the origin of the emotion.- Where did it come from?
3. Note how the emotion feels inwardly.- How does the emotion feel inside of your body and mind?
4. Note how the emotion is being expressed outwardly.- How is it manifesting into your physical reality? What are other people seeing, hearing, or experiencing from you?
5. Process the details related to the emotion.- Make note of everything that is happening due to this emotion.
6. Determine if a course of action is needed to address or resolve the emotion.- Is this something that you can only accept with coping strategies or can you actually do something to resolve it? Is it something that needs to be resolved?
7. Implement plan of action and/or simply accept the emotion- TAKE ACTION.
Now, I know this may seem like a lot, so please know that emotional mindfulness is not something that you can master overnight, it will take some time. Be patient with yourself as you practice.
So, back to the original question:
HOW IS YOUR HEART?
If it isn’t well today, here is to wishing you all the love and light you need for your heart to swell again with beautiful energy.
Okay, I’ll let you go now. Thank you for spending time with me again today.
So, please know that emotional mindfulness is not something that you can master overnight, it will take some time. Be patient with yourself as you practice.
Until the next time that you grace me with your presence,
Dr. E
