Spider-Man: Brand New Day

Spider-Man has always been my favorite superhero because he has always been the most relatable. Oh, and I am a person who thinks Tom Holland is the BEST Peter Parker and Spider-Man (no offense to the others). 😂

After the last film, I couldn’t wait to see how Peter Parker would navigate his new reality of being isolated from his best friend, girlfriend, and anyone else who knew him. I especially could not wait to see how the writers would handle what I would consider an existential crisis. This is not just a regular existential crisis. This is one that Peter would have to navigate while also having superpowers and being a superhero.

Now that I’ve seen the movie twice (once in 3D and once in IMAX- I  never go see movies twice!), I can say that I am pleasantly surprised by how this story was written and the delicacy with which it was shared with the audience. Peter was managing loneliness, grief, and emotional exposure that translated into nervous system dysregulation, which ultimately impacted his powers.

My heart hurt as I watched my favorite superhero struggle emotionally, but my therapist heart was also smiling because I got to see the writers and actors display what I teach on a daily basis.

 Honestly? Peter Parker needed therapy. 😂

But don’t we all? (You already know how I feel about this!)

One of the things I appreciated most about this movie was that Peter’s struggles weren’t portrayed as him simply “being sad.” His emotional experiences were affecting how he functioned. His body was responding to what his mind and heart were carrying and that is something we often forget: our emotions don’t just live in our thoughts. They show up in our bodies, our behaviors, our relationships, and sometimes even in our ability to function.

When we experience grief, loneliness, chronic stress, disappointment, or a major life transition, our nervous system can become overwhelmed or overloaded. We may become more irritable, withdrawn, anxious, exhausted, impulsive, or disconnected. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much we are carrying until our body starts telling us.

Peter’s superpowers may be fictional, but the experience of realizing, “Something isn’t right with me, and I don’t know how to fix it,” is incredibly human.

And that is where I think this movie gets really interesting.

Peter had spent so much time being Spider-Man that it was easy to forget there was still a person underneath the mask. He had responsibilities, expectations, loss, and an identity that had been completely shaken. He was trying to figure out who he was when he could no longer rely on the people and relationships that once helped define his life.

Sound familiar?

Maybe you’ve experienced your own version of a “brand new day.”

Maybe you graduated and suddenly had no idea what came next.

Maybe you ended a relationship and had to figure out who you were without that person.

Maybe your children grew up and you found yourself asking, “Okay…now what?”

Maybe you changed careers, moved to a new city, experienced a loss, or simply reached a point where the life you had built no longer felt like the life you wanted.

Sometimes life changes before we’re emotionally ready for it.

And when that happens, we can find ourselves grieving not only what we lost, but also who we thought we were going to be.

That is why emotional awareness matters.

We cannot effectively manage emotions that we refuse to acknowledge. Ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear. Distracting ourselves doesn’t necessarily resolve them. Pretending we’re “fine” because everyone else expects us to be fine can leave us carrying much more than we realize.

Peter’s journey reminded me that sometimes strength isn’t about pushing through.

Sometimes strength looks like slowing down long enough to recognize what you’re feeling.

Sometimes it looks like admitting that you’re lonely.

Sometimes it looks like grieving something you wish you didn’t have to grieve.

Sometimes it looks like asking for help.

Sometimes, especially for those of us who are used to being the strong one, it looks like allowing someone else to support us.

You Were Never Meant to Do It Alone

Another part of the movie that stood out to me was the importance of support and community.

Peter is a superhero, but even superheroes need support.

We often romanticize independence. We celebrate the person who “doesn’t need anybody,” who handles everything alone, who keeps going no matter what.

But there is a difference between being independent and being isolated.

Humans are wired for connection. We need relationships where we can feel seen, heard, understood, and supported. We need people who can remind us who we are when life temporarily makes us forget.

 No, your support system doesn’t have to consist of superheroes.

Sometimes it’s your best friend who lets you vent for the 47th time.

Sometimes it’s your sister who tells you, “Girl, you are overthinking this.”

Sometimes it’s the friend who sends you a meme at exactly the right time.

Sometimes it’s your therapist sitting across from you saying, “Let’s slow this down for a minute.”

Sometimes support looks like simply sitting beside someone while they navigate something you cannot fix for them.

We don’t always need someone to save us. Sometimes we just need someone willing to stand beside us while we save ourselves.

That may be one of the biggest lessons I took from Spider-Man: Brand New Day.

Life will inevitably give us our own brand new days, some exciting, some terrifying, and some we didn’t ask for.

We may not get to choose what changes.

We may not get to control what we lose.

We may not always understand why we’re struggling.

But we can learn how to recognize what we’re feeling, regulate our nervous systems, challenge the thoughts that keep us stuck, seek healthy support, and make choices that align with the person we are becoming.

And perhaps most importantly, we can remember that being strong does not mean being unaffected.

Even Spider-Man had to learn that.

So if you’re currently navigating your own “brand new day,” give yourself some grace.

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

You don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Take off the mask every now and then.

Check in with yourself.

Feel what you need to feel.

Reach for your people.

 If you need a little extra support figuring out what comes next, therapy is always an option.

 Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do isn’t swing through the city and save everyone else, sometimes it’s learning how to take care of ourselves. 🕷️❤️

 

Until next time, keep uncovering the gems in your own story. You never know what you’ll discover when you take off the mask,

Dr. E 💎🕷️