If I had a dollar for every time a client told me at the beginning of the session that they didn’t have much to talk about, and then 55 minutes later, I literally had to give the famous line “Time goes by so fast! We are almost out of time”, I would be a millionaire! If I had a dollar for every time that same client looked at me as if I was some type of magician (oh you have nothing to discuss today? *Cue the Usher meme*), I would be on the Forbes list!
Therapy is such a multifaceted tool.
One of the biggest misconceptions that I hear regarding therapy is that it’s only needed during periods of crisis. Yes, therapists will help you when you are experiencing high levels of stress and need immediate tools to navigate through those times, but it can also be used as a platform for self-discovery, self-care, communication improvement, relationship development, etc.
Surprisingly, all of my sessions are not “heavy”. In fact, some of my favorite sessions with clients start with conversations about their favorite songs, tv shows, movies, and books. I can make a conversation about your favorite pasta dish a therapeutic one. What? Now, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would not lie to you. Try me!
All jokes aside, therapy can be hard work, and this is why it’s important to find the right therapist! Finding the right therapist is just like dating!
Not every therapist will be the one for you, so keep “dating” until you find the right one.
Finding the right therapist is just like dating!
Here is my truth:
God, I hope this does not find her somehow, but if it does, I hope you realize that while it did not work between us, I’m sure you are a great therapist for others!
My first experience as a client in therapy did not go well at all. Of course, I won’t give you all of the details about the therapist, but I’ll just say this: my therapist seemed to be a lot more focused on the techniques of therapy versus building a strong therapeutic relationship. She wouldn’t smile or laugh!!
Not every therapist will be the one for you, so keep “dating” until you find the right one.
My second experience with therapy actually came in the form of peer counseling in graduate school. In my Helping Relationships course, I had a partner with whom I did mock sessions. Sometimes I would be the client and sometimes I would be the therapist. Listen, there was nothing fake about those sessions (Hey, Sheena Brown! Your clients are so blessed to have you, because you have a natural gift. Thank you for being a part of my journey. I love you for life!). Ultimately, this is when I realized that therapy does not have to be “stuffy”. A client should be able to relax, be themselves, and for goodness sake, we can laugh!
I have had the same therapist now for almost 5 years and I truly value her. We can talk about anything (I promise she is a magician too)! I feel heard, and most of all, I feel seen.
How do you know he/she is the one?
Okay, this is honestly something I can talk about forever, so here is the point: think about what you want in a therapist.
If you do not remember anything else from this post, please remember this: Keep “dating” until you find the one who feels right for you! Find the one who is going to tailor make your treatment plan just for you, the one who is going to challenge you, the one who is going to support you, the one who is going to be a great addition to your Dream Team (you know I had to slip that in there, right? I think we are getting to know each other pretty well now).
Keep “dating” until you find the one who feels right for you! Find the one who is going to tailor make your treatment plan just for you, the one who is going to challenge you, the one who is going to support you, the one who is going to be a great addition to your Dream Team.
Alright, I’ll let you go now. Let’s talk again…soon?! Don’t stand me up! Take care.
Until We Meet Again,
Dr. E
